


Flowers Grow Out of My Grave

by orphan_account



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Muggle, Comedy, Friends to Lovers, Halloween, Infidelity, M/M, Romance, Romantic Comedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-08
Updated: 2018-10-28
Packaged: 2019-07-28 07:12:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16236773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: For years, Remus and Sirius went in couples costumes to the Marauder’s annual Halloween Bash. Before that, they did group costumes. Now that Remus has a boyfriend, Sirius is being left out in the cold.When I think about youFlowers grow out of my grave, grave grave!---Flowers Grow Out of My Grave by Dead Man’s Bones





	1. Threeway? No Way.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know where this came from but enjoy. Happy Halloween Month!

For seven years, the Marauders wore group costumes. Through their years a Hogwarts they went at The Beatles, The Fantastic Four, Various members of The Office, The Ninja Turtles, Ghostbusters, Hot Dog + Condiments, and Goldilocks and the Three Bears. Following Hogwarts, James decided to leave Sirius, Remus, and Peter to go as a couple costume with Lily (since having Harry four years ago, they have done a family costume). In turn, Peter joined whoever it was he was dating at the time to do the same (Now it was his fiancé Mary). Remus and Sirius decided to go as a couple since their mates deserted them.

They two men were now going on year seven of Remus and Sirius going to their yearly Halloween bash together in their couple costume. Since instating a contest their first year Post-Hogwarts, Remus and Sirius had won it four of out seven times. Sirius had ideas for their costume this year already. Since it was the first weekend of October, they needed to get started. Sirius loved to DIY it and that’s part of the reason they did so well. The judges were always impressed with his skills. Moony tended to contribute nothing but looking pretty and the occasional sarcastic comment.

“Moony!” Sirius barged into the other man’s flat that he shared with Marlene and Dorcas. Sirius had tried to get him to live with him but Remus complained the rent was too high — even though Sirius offered to pay for most of it. Remus was terrible at taking any type of help. He wanted to make it on his own, which was so daft when he could be comfortable with a little help from his very rich mates. But Sirius didn’t press him too much on it and let him be after about six months of asking.

There was a moment of silence as Sirius stood in the living room. He was sure he heard something from inside the flat. “Oi! I know you’re in the flat. You sent me that Snapchat like an hour ago.”

“Sirius, I’m — fuck— I’m busy.” Remus sounded out of breath.

Sirius frowned. “Are you okay?”

“Sirius, go the fuck away!” Remus’ voice sounded strained. Sirius was concerned the man was hurt as he made his way down the hallway.

“Are you dying?”

“He’s shagging. Now, fuck off, Black!” Benjy Fenwick yelled back.

“Sorry!” Sirius felt himself go red and hurried out of the flat before anyone could say another word. Not that it was the first time Sirius caught one of his mates in the act. Not that he saw anything.

Remus had been dating Benjy for five months now. Everyone liked Benjy. Everyone being the Marauders and Co. And Effie and Monty and Hope and Lyall. Hell, even Andi and Ted liked the bloke… Just not Sirius. There was something about Benjy that rubbed Sirius the wrong way. He couldn’t quite place his finger on it but he was going to be able to figure it out one day. It was something about the way that he carried himself and sort of flaunted his relationship with Moony.

Any person should be damn lucky to be dating Moony. It should humble them because this wonderful creature with a heart of gold and the sharpest tongue on the planet let them in. But Benjy didn’t seem to get that. Yeah, he flaunted his relationship but it was in a weird way. Not in a way that gave Remus his due. Sirius couldn’t explain it properly. He hadn’t tried to since attempting a conversation about it with James after Remus’ birthday dinner in March. James ended up giving him this weird look that Sirius didn’t understand. Lily also laughed for a solid ten minutes. So, he gave up.

Instead, he stewed in annoyance over Benjy silently. Like now, he was angrily getting a pint down the way all by himself while he waited for Remus to text him. He knew Remus would text him because Remus always got back to him, no matter what. The man could have been on his deathbed and he would be getting back to Sirius.

As he was staring at the screen talking about some tennis match, his phone buzzed on the bar top.

 **RL** : Sorry :(

 **SB** : No worries.

 **RL** : Text me when you need me.

 **SB** : Thought you were free.  
SB: The Snap and all.

 **RL** : What did you want?

 **SB** : Chat. About Halloween

Sirius stared at his phone and about four times the “…” popped up on the screen and disappeared. He couldn’t understand what the big deal was. Maybe Benjy was trying to shag him again or something. It wasn’t something someone needed much thought for.

 **RL** : What are you doing now?

 **SB** : Pub. Hogshead.

 **RL** : Be there in a half hour.  
**RL** : If that works for you Pads.

 **SB** : I’ll be waiting.

There was a point in his life that Sirius feared he’d lose his mates when they all got significant others. Hell, when James was trying to get with Lily, he was outright jealous. It wasn’t until months after they left Hogwarts that he was sure James wasn’t about to abandon him. He felt the same way about Peter and Remus’ first big relationships too. But he got over it. He blamed those feelings on his shitty upbringing. That was all basically confirmed by his therapist too.

About forty minutes later, Remus Lupin walked into the bar wearing a very well-worn green and blue checkered flannel over a black shirt and jeans that seemed to be particularly tight. They must have been new, Sirius didn’t notice them. His tawny curls were still a little damp from what Sirius assumed was a shower. At the base of his neck was an obscene hickey. They were 25, nearly 26 — were hickeys still a thing? Benjy was probably just marking his territory or something daft.

“‘Lo, Pads.” Remus took the seat next to Sirius at the corner of the bar by the wall.

“Moony, you know you didn’t need to come out,” Sirius said but he was glad that Remus was there.

“No, it’s fine. Ben had to get back to the hospital.” Remus shook his head.

“Shagging you on his break.”

“I’m the one doing the shagging, thank you very much.” Remus scoffed, taking Sirius pint and having a sip. “What is that? It tastes that water. Why do you have such shite taste?”

Sirius rolled his eyes and the bartender came over. Remus leaned against the bar and ordered a whiskey. He also flirted with the bartender, which he never did on purpose. It just happened. People always thought Sirius was the massive flirt but Remus had this strange natural charm to him that he didn’t even notice.

“Okay, so, Halloween.” Remus took a deep breath.

“Why does it feel like you’re breaking up with me?” Sirius folded his arms, feeling a bit defensive.

“Padfoot, have you ever been broken up with?”

“Fourth year, when I still thought I was straight. Emmy broke up with me before the Yule Ball.” There was a lot more to that story but Remus only needed to know the break-up part for the moment. He didn’t need to know the rest — ever.

Remus laughed, “So, you’re clearly experienced in breaking up.”

“I’ve broken up with people. I know the tone.” Sirius glared as the bartender set down the tumbler in front of Remus. “What’s going on? Are you not going to the party? Does Benjy want to go elsewhere? Is there some fancy doctor thing going on?”

“No, of course, we’re going. But I was going to do a costume with Ben.” Remus shook his head then took a drink. “I know it’s been our thing for seven years—”

“Excuse you, fourteen years, Moonpie. Then we made a pact after Wormy and Prongs fucked off to their hetero loves. We said no matter what we’d always go as a pair.” Sirius didn’t like the feelings that he was having at the moment. He was never a fan of being jealous but he was sure that was what he was feeling at the moment. That was stupid. It was just a dumb costume party.

“I’m sorry, Pads,” Remus said, resting a hand on his forearm.

“This is like getting broken up with! I feel like I caught you cheating and now you’re going off with him.” Sirius pouted like a child. Again, he knew that he was being stupid. He wasn’t sure why he was acting like this. “Then I’m going to have to watch you flaunt your costumes in front of my face at the party.”

“Look, we both knew this would happen at some point. It’s a miracle neither of us have been in a long-term relationship around Halloween before.” Remus drummed his fingers on the counter and looked deep in thought for a moment. “Maybe we can make it a threeway costume.”

“No! I will not join you in a threeway!” Sirius said a bit too loud. He was sure some of the other patrons were looking over at them. Remus' eyes flitted behind Sirius and he’s freckled cheeks went pink.

“Padfoot,” The other man hissed. “It’s a bloody costume.”

“It is a statement of a committed friendship.”

“You didn’t act like this with Peter.”

“Peter is the mate I would lose touch with if it weren’t for everyone.”

“Sirius!”

“I’m joking,” He rolled his eyes. “I did it with James not long before Pete abandoned us. I wasn’t interested in fighting. Plus, you offered me a great costume idea that year.”

“Pikachu and Ash, yeah.” Remus chuckled. “Look, I’m sorry. Maybe you can find someone else to partner up with.”

“I wanted to go as a merman and a sailor,” Sirius said and Remus’ face did something strange. Sirius wasn’t sure what the expression was but he wasn’t going to dwell on it because it probably had something to do with his costume idea with Benjy.

“Why don’t you ask one of the Prewetts? Fab is perpetually single. Gid’s girlfriend just left for a month long holiday so she won’t be round. Ask them both or one of them.”

“No.” Sirius decided he was going to play up the perpetual child that he was and stomp his feet around a little more.

“You’re just being ridiculous now,” Remus complained. “I’m sorry I found a boyfriend that I want to do a couples costume with.”

“I thought you offered a threeway.”

“To placate you because you’re in a strop.” Remus huffed a breath.

“Really, that’s the only reason why you offered a threeway?”

“You can stop saying the sodding word threeway.” The other man again looked behind Sirius a bit nervously. “I’m not saying sorry again because that’s ridiculous. This whole thing is ridiculous. It’s a bloody costume.”

“The foundation of our friendship is ridiculous?”

“You're a fucking drama queen.” Remus shook his head. “I’m not doing this with you. Can we have a drink like two normal humans and not get all up in arms over a bloody costume?”

“I feel betrayed.” Sirius declared.

“God, you’re not guilting me into doing a costume you with you, Padfoot. No matter what you say, it’s not happening. I’m going with Benjy and that’s that.”

Sirius hated that he disliked not getting his way so much. It was some sort of spoilt rich and good looking kid tendency he had still kicking around inside of him. Remus tended to be the one not to give him his way too. It was something with Moony. He was the one that needed to withhold things from him. Sirius should have been used to it but it still made him want to whine about it to someone.

So, after he finished his drink with Remus, he went to see James, Lily, and Harry. To his surprise, Lily was the only one at the flat. James had taken the kid to see some new movie. That was fine. James was generally bad at giving advice. Lily was much better at that sort of thing. “What’s going on with you?”

“Ugh, nothing.” He threw himself on to the sofa with his legs hanging over one side.

“That’s what you always say when you’re about to go off on some monologue about your horrible life.” Lily sat next to his head.

“My life is horrible. Moony is leaving me for Benjy.”

“Huh, never knew you two were an item. Also, it’s been nearly half a year since they started dating.”

“Lily, he’s going with him for Halloween. For the costume.”

“Oh, you didn’t see that coming?” Lily furrowed her brow. “Thought that was a given.”

“Should I have?”

“Sirius, you’re in your mid-twenties. Remus is getting ready to settle in for the long haul with this bloke. Of course your costume was at risk.” She laughed at him.

“I hate you Evans.”

“You do not.” She flicked his nose. “Do you still fancy him?”

Sirius cracked an eye open to look up her, feeling as if he was having the same Gay Panic he had when he happened to tell this information to her. “That was Fourth Year.” He said in a matter of fact tone. “I got over it. It was just me realizing I fancied blokes. That’s all. Also, we swore never to speak of that again.”

“It’s just… are you sure? You and Moony act so much like a couple sometimes it makes me laugh a little.” Lily rested a hand on his shoulder. “You might want to tell him sooner rather than later if you still do feel that way.”

Sirius glared at her now. They were never supposed to talk about this again after his first panic. She found him in the library looking like a mess. He had seen Remus in the showers and felt THINGS that one should not feel for their best mates. He confessed to Lily because he needed to tell someone. He didn’t realize that person would be there for the rest of his freaking life. “You can’t be serious.”

“No, love, that’s you.” She snickered. “Are you sure you moved on? Or did you just manage it in some way? Like pretending you were dating but not pretending.”

“I have no idea what the hell that means.” Sirius’ eyebrow went up.

“It’s just — you and Moony have always been practically dating up until the last few months. Like right up until Ben and Remus went on holiday together the other month. Whenever we do things in pairs, it’s always the couples and you two. It’s all changing now and you’re losing your chance to be with Moony.”

“We only did those couple things because we didn’t want to miss out with what the rest of you were doing.” He complained even though Lily did have a point. They basically were a couple and Sirius did enjoy it. But it wasn’t as if it were real and Sirius knew that. He was well past that Gay Panic of his youth. It was just something that was comforting. “It’s just the principle of it all.”

“Sirius, people grow up, have boyfriends, get married, and have babies. Not that you have to but I think we both know Remus wants that and Benjy probably does too.” Lily sighed and started to braid a part of Sirius’ hair.

“How did we jump from costumes to marriage and babies? That’s not what I’m talking about.”

“Mmmhmm, sure, Pads.” Lily nodded. “Tell me, when was the last time you went on a date?”

Sirius closed his eyes again in thought. He couldn’t remember. Anytime he went out somewhere alone that was nice it happened to be with Remus. That didn’t mean anything. It couldn’t. Remus was his best mate. All those feelings had died a long time ago…. Right?


	2. E=MC Hammer and a Harsh Realization

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius realizes his Gay Panic is a Real Problem.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did not come up with the trivia names, I found inspiration from a few sites online.

On the Thursday following Remus’ betrayal, Sirius was out for trivia night with everyone. He was on a team with Fabian, James, Lily, Mary, and Peter (O-Trivia Newton John). They were up against Remus, Marlene, Dorcas, Benjy, Frank and Alice (E=MC Hammer). Sirius had not spoken to Remus since last Saturday afternoon at the pub. Sirius even ignored the texts that Remus sent in good measure. On top of that, he actively chose to be on a different team from Remus. They were always on the same team. Remus looked like he wanted to murder him.

“What the hell is going on with you?” Fabian asked as Sirius glared over at Remus, who was gloating about the question that Benjy had just got right. Prick.

“Nothing.” Sirius took a sip of his pint. “I’m just mad because we’re losing.” That was only partly the reason.

“Eh, this is something else.” Fabian shook his head. “I don’t believe it.”

“Sirius is just salty because Remus isn’t going to be doing a couples costume with him,” James informed Fabian then did that stupid thing with his hair he always did.

“That’s it? God, I’d hate actually to betray you in any sort of way.” Fab laughed loudly. “I thought you’d be happy that one of your best mates has found love.”

“He can find love and still go to the party with me,” Sirius complained before downing the rest of his drink. “It’s a tradition.”

“Born out of loneliness.” Mary scoffed. “Get yourself a boyfriend, Black.”

“Peter, tell your fiancé to leave me alone. I’m feeling very attacked right now.” Sirius frowned.

“I’m on her side, mate.” Peter shrugged.

“I’ll be your partner for the night.” Fabian offered him. That was nice of him but it had nothing to do with Sirius having to go alone. It had to do with the fact that Remus was no longer interested in going with him. Sirius did plenty of things by himself, going to a party was nothing. He just never thought Remus would break such a long held Marauding then Moony-Padfoot tradition.

Sirius huffed a breath.

“Sorry, I know I don’t measure up to the great Remus John Lupin but I think I’m a decent enough replacement. If anything, I know how to have a good time.” Fab chuckled. “What was your costume idea?”

“Sailor and merman,” Sirius muttered.

“Huh, can I be the sailor? I’m like halfway there with a costume already. Shouldn’t be too hard. I could grow an alright beard in the next few weeks too.”

Sirius looked at him questioningly. “You really want to?”

“As long as you’re not a bloody prat all night at the party, then yes, I’d love to. I’ve never done a partner costume. Even when Gid and I were kids, we refused to go as a pair. Something about being a twin, I think. Always want to be an individual.” Fabian laughed a little.

This wasn’t ideal. Sirius was hoping Remus would give over and tell him that he was going to be his partner again. He knew that he was going to be miserable the whole night. Without Remus, it just was not going to be the same. Fab wouldn’t get into character, he wouldn’t tell Sirius to stop drinking so many jello shots, and he just — he wouldn’t Remus.

“Okay, yeah, if you want to be my costume partner. We can do that. Just take care of the sailor part. I’ll worry about the merman.” Sirius waved a hand. He couldn’t be arsed to care about Fab’s costume. If he pulled his off well enough, then they’d win no matter what. Unless if the man was wearing something completely strange.

“Brilliant!” Fab said.

Lily sent Sirius a critical look. He was not about to ask her what that was about. Sirius didn’t need to hear anything from the redheaded witch at the moment. She had been saying enough all week whenever she could. Lily seemed convinced that Sirius was only acting this way because of some unresolved feelings. Those feelings were resolved. He couldn’t have feelings for Remus because they were best mates. It was that easy. He wasn’t about to ruin his friendship because of it. He nearly did that when he was in Fourth Year.

“I need a drink.” Sirius got out of his seat and went for the bar.

Sometimes he did wonder if he did have feelings for Remus. Was he just so brilliant at suppressing his feelings that he went ten years pretending he was not in love with his best mate that he actually convinced himself that there was nothing there? That would be some major skill that he could probably teach classes on somehow.

“Sirius, what the fuck is happening?” Remus came up next to him, connecting his elbow into Sirius’ side.

“Ow! Arsehole, careful with those damn limbs, will you? I thought you got used to them by seventh year.” Sirius scowled at Remus.

“What is going on, Sirius? You’ve been avoiding me all week and you haven’t said a word to meat all tonight!” Remus said, flagging down the bartender. “Are you really holding on to a grudge over a stupid costume?”

“It’s not stupid!” Sirius all but shouted at him as the bartender came over.

Remus proceeded to order both of their drinks without even asking Sirius what he was having. Once the bartender went to see to their pints he turned to Sirius with a deadly look. “It’s stupid. You’re an adult. I’m in a relationship. You can not be mad at me because I’m happy. That’s unfair and not what a good friend does.”

Sirius knew that he was being a shitty friend but he was also feeling left behind. He wished that he could be happy for Remus but it wasn’t happening. He was angry and kicking up a fuss because didn’t know what else he should be doing about his feelings.

“Padfoot, you have to stop this,” Remus said firmly as if he was talking to a child. “We’re not at Hogwarts anymore — hell, we’re not even in Uni. You need to grow the fuck up because you’re not making it easy to be your friend right now.”

Not knowing what to say, Sirius was thankful that their drinks arrived. He paid for them both and took a long pull of his pint. If all these thoughts and feelings would just stop swirling around inside of him, then that would be lovely. The last time he felt like this was in seventh year when Remus was dating that good looking bloke from the soccer team… no, he felt something like this when Remus dated that girl with the nose ring in uni— oh no, last year when Remus — fuck. Lily was right, wasn’t she?

“What?” Remus looked rather alarmed.

“What are you whating?” Sirius furrowed his brow. There was no way he could still fancy Remus. It had to be impossible. Sirius didn’t think that he was actually that stupid.

“You looked, I don’t know, you looked hurt? Like genuinely hurt, not this overdramatic bullshite you’ve been giving me.”

“No, I just realized…I just realized that I am being an idiot. I’m sorry.” Sirius said softly, looking down.

“Sirius, are you okay? Really?” Remus was concerned now, grabbing Sirius’ arm so he wouldn’t go anywhere.

“I’m fine, Moony. Come on, I’m was being a twat. Let’s get back to the game before our teams drown without us. I don’t understand how those idiots survive day to day without us.” Sirius forced a smile.

“You know, we only win when we’re on the same team, right? We’re screwed anyway.”

“Yeah, well, our idiot friends don’t stand a chance without us.” Sirius tried to laugh but it came out all wrong. Why was this happening to him? Why couldn’t he be normal for once in his sodding life? Everything had to be this big deal, even when he wasn’t trying to be dramatic.

“Right on.” Remus grinned at him, showing off his dimples. Those dimples, that neck, those shoulders, and that arse were all the reasons for his original Gay Panic. Now, he was having a Gay Panic 2.0. He thought that he was well past this. He should have been well past this.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

  
***

On Saturday afternoon at some shop just outside the city, “This is cool.” Lily said, picking up a purple glitter skull. They were out shopping for more things to fill the Potter’s place with. Not that they already had enough to decorate about three houses with. Peter, James, and Remus were off in another part of the store with Harry probably causing havoc. Sirius didn’t fancy going with them today. Mainly because he didn’t want to be around Remus.

“Yeah.” Sirius shrugged.

“It’s glittery and purple. Two of your favorite things. Normally you’d be shoving it in my face and begging me to buy it even though you have more than enough money on your own.” Lily set the skull into the trolley. “What is the matter?”

Sirius spent the last two nights and days in bed staring at the ceiling. He filed through the last fourteen years of his life with Remus. He came to the realization that there was never not a time that he was not in love with Remus Lupin. It was always there but he managed not to think about it, which was easy for some reason. Maybe it was because Remus and Sirius were basically a couple like Lily said. They didn’t have the physical part. Maybe it was better to pretend it wasn’t there than to face it and feel the pain. Now he was feeling that immense, suffocating pain.

Nearly ten years later, he was reliving the same situation he had with Remus around the time of the Yule Ball in fourth year. This time it was Halloween and not Christmas and a party not a ball. Plus, he knew that he was gay and he wasn’t dating anyone at the moment. Remus was though.

Sirius was about to take it a step closer for it to be too much like before.

“I still fancy him, Lily.” Sirius kept his voice low.

“Thank god you’ve finally accepted that one.” Lily bumped her shoulder into his. “Peter, James, and I had a bet on how long you would go without coming out with it. Peter thought you never would. James said you would probably get all the way to Remus’ wedding then end up crying in the bushes all night. I had more faith in you. I gave it one more year but it seems like you got to it sooner.”

“The three of you—”

“Ha, yeah.” She laughed. “Remember that time you and Moony made out when you were wasted back in our seventh year at Hogwarts?”

Sirius remembered it well. It was one of the last nights at Hogwarts and things got a bit out of control. They were playing truth or dare at the end of the night with the surviving partiers and James dared Remus to kiss Sirius. They were joking at first until, well, until they weren’t joking around. If it weren’t for all the eyes on them, Sirius was sure he would have had sex with Remus. But it was a dare and they were absolutely wasted.

“Yeah, well, since that night everyone thought you’d get together at one point or another. Peter, James, and I have kept it alive just between the three of us.” Lily explained to Sirius, who felt a bit sick.

“Have you ever told them—”

“No, I never told them about fourth year. Don’t worry. I told you I’d keep your secret. You gave me plenty of ammunition by just being you outside of that whole Fourth Year situation. Do you know how you look at him? Do you know what it’s like being around you two? It’s amazing that you’re just getting here. Honestly, I thought Remus would be the first to break but he does love to be self-loathing and fucking miserable.” Lily explained to him. “How are you feeling?”

“Like a complete arse.” Sirius grimaced. “How can I be this in love with someone and not realize it for years?”

“Because you’re a master at pretending things are fine when they’re not. You learned how to do that growing up. You just used your shitty coping mechanisms in a different way for a different reason.” Lily picked up a stuffed black cat raised up and tossed it in the trolley before they turned down a new aisle.

Sirius groaned when he saw James, Peter, and Harry dancing in front of some display with the bloke from the Halloween movies and Remus was recording them on his phone. He was laughing his head off so the video probably was all shaky.

“What are you going to do?” Lily put an arm around his shoulders.

“I’m going to go home, open a bottle of wine, and cry while watching sad movies tonight and tomorrow while I work on sewing my costume.” Sirius all but whispered. “I’ll probably do that next weekend too.

“Or, you could tell him how you feel,” Lily suggested with jazz hands as if it was some sort of brilliant idea. It sounded like the shittiest idea that Sirius ever heard. “I know that’s a crazy thought but you might want to think about it.”

“Pads, look at this!” Remus said as Lily and Sirius got closer. “It’s so funny.” He slipped an arm around his waist and pulled him over to look at the phone.

Sirius couldn’t concentrate on the screen in front of him. All he could do was smell Remus and feel him against his side. This was exactly like being fifteen again. This was the worst thing on the face of the planet. “Ha, funny.” He managed as Remus pulled the phone away but stayed close to him. “James wants me to put it online but I don’t think Harry wants to go viral, do you buddy?”

Harry shook his head as Lily picked him up and set him in the trolley. “Lily also does not want her son to go viral. Nice try, Potter.” She shot James a look before looking at Remus and Sirius with sad eyes.

“Of course I don’t want Harry to go viral either mainly because of James. Your ego wouldn’t be able to handle the fame. It’s amazing you’re still standing.” Remus said as they all started walking again.

Remus finally dropped his arm but Sirius felt as if his heart was going to beat out of his chest. Why couldn’t he be normal? Why did everything have to be so bloody dramatic all the time? He really hated himself. A whole decade went by without him thinking about Remus in any way other than a mate. What on earth was he going to do? He had to get back to how it was before.


	3. Totally Not Stressed Out or Going Through Things

By the time Monday came around, Sirius was not in the mood to go to work. He was in advertising at Potter Inc., a toy company owned by Monty, which would eventually be taken over by James. Thankfully he wouldn’t have to see Remus but he also had spent the last few days in agony thinking about his horrible life, he just didn’t want to be a human quite yet. He thought about calling out.

“Mate, you look like you’re about to die. What on earth is wrong?” James asked, leaning against the doorframe of his office.

“It’s nothing.” Sirius mutter, jabbing his finger a bit too hard on his laptop’s power button. “It’s just bleeding Monday, is all.” He huffed because the computer didn’t turn on, so he tried again.

“Do you want to go home?” James furrowed his brow, clearly confused at who his friend was acting this way.

“No, I’m fine. I’ll be fine. It’s better to be working.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” James came in, shutting the door behind him. “Is it about Moony?”

Sirius groaned, “Why the fuck would it be about Moony? Why does everything have to be about Moony? He’s not that great. He and Benjy are just going to wear dumb store bought costumes.” Sirius watched his computer slowly power up. He reached for his coffee and prayed James would stop prying at any moment.

“Okay, so, it is Moony. Lily said that you were having some thoughts about him.”

“Thoughts?” Sirius gritted his teeth. How could Lily do this? He had enough to deal with, not he had to deal with Lily’s betrayal as well?

“That maybe you were — that you fancy Remus. Which is fine. I think it’s actually brilliant. Please don’t be mad at Lily. She swore me to secrecy but I can tell you’re all stressed out and—”

“I AM NOT STRESSED!” Sirius snapped then took a deep breath. It should not have surprised him that Lily told James. They were practically one person at this point in their lives. James would also be telling Lily exactly what happened on this horrible Monday morning. She would probably yell at him for telling Sirius that Lily told James anything. At least it didn’t seem like she told him about the Fourth Year Incident.

“Okay,” James said calmly, taking a seat across from him. “I think if you just told Remus how you feel—”

“Tell Remus how I feel? You want me to tell Remus Lupin how I feel? Really? This is what you’re contributing to this conversation? That I tell him how I feel. Jesus fucking Christ. I’m sure that would go over well.”

“Remember the time you two made out—”

“Yeah, yeah seventh year. Whatever.”

“No, at New Years a few years ago.” James waved a hand.

Sirius blinked, they did make out a New Years a few years ago. That was just a New Years kiss. It couldn’t have meant anything. It was just a drunken snog because they were both lonely on New Year. They had both been broken up with just prior to Christmas, mind you. “That was just some — some — some fun.” Sirius stuttered out.

“I expect a drunk snog from you, but not Remus. He’s generally in control of himself even when pissed.”

“Yes, well, Remus is full of surprises.”

“One of those surprises maybe be the fact that he’s in love with you too?”

“You’re mad.”

“Why?” James asked, pushing his glasses up his nose. “How is this suggestion mad but you acting this way isn’t?”

“I never said that I wasn’t being mad. You’re just being — you’re annoying. Your wife suggested the same bloody thing the other day. Remus is in a very happy with Benjy. Plus, we’ve been mates for ages. Even if I’m a mess, Remus has himself together. He would come out with it. He’s never even shown any interest.” Sirius shook his head.

“Except when you made out in seventh year and that time at New Years and like anytime either of you is around one another.”

Sirius didn’t say a word. He just typed in his password so he could log on. He didn’t want to give James anything else to go back and tell Lily about. For all Sirius knew the whole Marauders and Co. knew all about Sirius’ current agony. He was going to have to find some new friends, which was rather inconvenient.

***

The Marauder’s Halloween Bash was a week and a day away. Sirius was spending his Friday hand-stitching sequins, fish netting, and some shiny scales to his costume. Sirius also needed to hot glue some sea shells to it. He had made the fin as well the other week but he used his sewing machine for that. He couldn’t do it with the little fiddly bits on the machine.

Sirius had all the provisions he needed for the weekend he had planned in his flat. Enough wine to last him without having to leave the flat. Enough junk food to gorge on and he had plans of ordering some food in. Enough sappy movies and shows on Netflix for him to cry over. Enough thread and crafting supplies to keep his mind occupied.

Except someone had to go on and ruin his plans for a weekend of seeing no one. He told all of his mates that he had plans with someone else and hoped no one would figure it out or just leave him alone. James and Lily were annoying with encouraging Sirius to just come out with it to Remus. Whoever it was had the keys (aka it was Peter, James, Lily, Remus, or Marlene — he hoped it was Peter) to his flat because they were letting themselves in.

“I hope you’re here to kill me,” Sirius called out then stuck himself with his needle. “Fuck, ow.”

“God, Pads, I thought you knew how to sew? Do you need new glasses?” Remus said as he came into the living room, carrying a pizza box.

Sirius' heart felt as if it was now in his throat as Remus set the box on the coffee table. “What are you doing here?”

“Well, I haven’t heard from you in a solid week. I thought you were finally over the costume thing. What did I do now to besmirch our friendship?”

“You didn’t do anything. I got over the costume thing.” Sirius frowned as Remus went into his kitchen.

“Then what on earth is going on?” The other man questioned as Sirius heard him opening cabinets.

“Nothing, it was just a long, hard week,” Sirius said as Remus came back out with a wine glass in his hand. He was wearing brown trousers and a green jumper. Clearly, he had just left the library where he worked.

“Well, I am your mate so I don’t know why I didn’t hear you dramatically vent to me once.” Remus took a seat next to him on the ground. “That’s pretty.” He ran his long fingers over one of the purple iridescent scales Sirius had just sewed on. “Matches the purple in your frames.”

“Thanks.” Sirius pushed up his purple and black rimmed glasses. He normally wore contacts but he didn’t plan on being an outside human all weekend so they came out as soon as he got home from work. “Jealous you won’t be standing next to me as I wear it?” He was glad that he could manage some candor.

Remus laughed, reaching for the bottle of wine Sirius had on the table. “No, I’m not jealous. I’m just happy that you’re going and not sitting at home in a strop because I’m going with someone else.”

“Sometimes I can be mature.” Sirius finally set aside his sewing to grab the pizza box while Remus poured when into their glasses.

“A rarity.” Remus set the bottle down and took his glass of the table.

“You got the good pizza,” Sirius commented as he opened the box. The smell of the melted cheese and warm down relaxed him a little. Apparently, food could be comforting.

“Only the best for Padfoot.” Remus took a sip of his wine. “You’re watching this again?” He pointed at the Telly, which was on Queer Eye, the episode with Miss Tammy. Queer Eye was one of the best shows he liked crying to.

“Yeah. I could watch it a million times in a row.” Sirius said, taking a piece of pizza out of the box.

“Are you okay? Are you going through something right now?” Remus took a sip of is wine with a concerned look in his eye.

“No, I’m not going through anything.”

“That is exactly what you would say if you were going through something.” Remus took a slice of pizza.

Sirius frowned but stayed silent. They watched the episode quietly, only making a few comments about the show, as they both had a few slices and each finished a glass of wine. Remus poured about glass after setting aside the box. “You’re really all right?”

“I’m really all right, Remus.”

He wasn’t really all right. All he could do the last week was stress about how not all right he was. He probably needed to go see his therapist soon because he didn’t know what to do. Okay, he did know what he should do but it was something BIG and SCARY that he didn’t want to do. Telling Remus how he felt was horrifying. There was probably no way he would ever do it, even with the professional help.

No, he needed someone to show him how to cope with being in love with his best mate without ruining their friendship. Except everyone would probably manage to try to get Sirius to tell Remus that he fancied him so much. Just like Lily and James. He was sure Peter would be barging to give his two cents soon enough. Not that Sirius wanted it or needed it. Sirius just needed to suffer a little before he could put his feeling back in their little tiny box in his brain they had been stuffed into before.

“Are you scared I’m going to leave you? You know, like you were with James at first when he and Lily finally got together?” Remus questioned him.

“No, god, no, it’s fine. I’m just in one of those moods, you know. I get them sometimes.”

“Depression? That’s not a mood, mate.” Remus rolled his eyes. “Are you taking your medicine? Maybe it needs to be adjusted.”

“No, it’s not that. I’m okay, I swear.”

“See, I can’t believe you.” Remus shook his head. Even if Sirius was okay, Remus probably wouldn’t believe him anyway because Remus was a worrier.

Sirius huffed a breath. “Remus, don’t mind me. I’m just. It’s transition. Everyone has found someone they love—”

“Not everyone.”

“My best mates, you, James, Peter. It was always the four of us. And yeah, we’ve managed to have a good strong relationship but sometimes I miss how it used to be.” Sirius decided this lie was much better and easier to deal with than the truth. He didn’t feel the way at all. Well, he did about Remus but that wasn’t exactly the same.

“I — I don’t know about Ben.” Remus looked down at the wine glass in his head. Sirius was sure his heart skipped a beat. “It’s… he’s fucking lovely. He’s a doctor and handsome and sweet. But sometimes I feel like I’m missing something. So, don’t worry. I don’t think you’ll lose me just yet. Not that you ever could.”

Sirius bit his lip then turned to stare at the telly because he didn’t want to show any type of emotion that Remus would question. “I’m sure you’re just questioning it because you’re Moony and you’re a self-loathing bastard.”

“Fuck off.” Remus scoffed. “I’m being honest, here. Sometimes I wonder if there was someone before who — I think — I think I may have loved but fucked it up.”

Sirius frowned, not sure who this mystery person could be. “I’m sure you can go fix whatever you did. I know you never messed anything up beyond repair with your ex’s. It was normally mutual, wasn’t it?”

“Yep.” Remus popped the ‘p’ at the end of the word before standing up. “I should go, Pads. Thanks for letting barge in here and have pizza and wine with you.”

“You could stay.” Sirius looked up at him, hoping his eyes didn’t look too sad. He didn’t want the man to go.

“No, I promised Ben I would meet him for a late night snack. That’s not a sexual thing. We’re literally meeting at a place by the hospital for some dessert.”

“Oh,” Sirius said, not sure what else he should say. He thought if it were any other couple that would be cute. But the idea of this sweetness happening between Remus and Benjy tore his heart to pieces. That and Remus apparently loved someone else from his past. “Have fun.”

“I will.” Remus sighed as if it was a lot to ask.

“Are you breaking up with him?”

“No, I’m trying to figure out what to do. I don’t want to string him along for too long. I wish I could just —” Remus stopped and shook his head. “Don’t worry about me, Pads. Deal with your own thing.”

“But we’re mates.” Sirius protested.

“I know what but you won’t tell me why you’re so upset.” Remus shoved his hands into the pockets of his trousers.

Sirius couldn’t think of anything to say back to that because it was true. Why should Remus feel the need to tell him?


	4. One Sad Bunny

In the days leading up to the party, Sirius doesn’t see Remus but he did get a few texts from him. There was nothing interesting to be said about the text. They were just boring run of the mill ones bored mates sent to one another. Nothing special. There was not even a mention of Benjy either. Sirius sent back his generic replies and did his best to press on with his days as if everything was fine and normal and he didn't realize that he was still in love with his best mate after over a decade.

Sirius wondered who Remus could still possibly be in love with. All his past love interests were just all right. If Sirius put aside his own feelings, he would say Benjy was the one who seemed to love Remus the most and who was the best possible person who was not Sirius Black to love the man. Remus himself seemed to love Benjy more than those other exes. What on earth was Moony missing? Why did he have to think that he should always be miserable? The man was maddening — though, probably not as maddening as Lily thought of Sirius.

“You’re just making yourself suffer more, Sirius. You know this is as bad as Moony.” She sighed as she stretched the swatch of fishnet against Sirius on his jaw, up to his hairline, and over his cheek a bit. She then began to dab the makeup brush against his skin to make a scale effect with the purple eyeshadow she picked out.

“No, that’s not fair. We both know Moony thinks he shouldn’t be happy for some fucked up reason. I think I should be happy but I don’t think Remus could possibly like me back and if he did this could possibly end in utter disaster because he’ll realize it was a bad fucking idea.”

“Either way it’s infuriating.” Lily huffed. She pushed back her curls again. She was dressed in bellbottoms, a matching blue crop top, and platforms. Her, Marlene, and Dorcas were the girls of the new Mamma Mia! and James was going as the dad of the kid or whatever. Sirius was probably a bad gay for not caring about the movie or the costume the group was wearing. Though, Lily did look pretty cute. “You could be happy.”

“How do you know?” Sirius tried not to furrow his brow, in fear he would mess up the makeup.

“Because you’re both fucking daft morons,” James said, clomping into the room. He was always wearing bellbottoms and platforms. He shirt was a lovely yellow flowery thing that he said he hated but probably loved because James had a terrible fashion sense.

“Why both of us? Remus isn’t in love with me.”

“But he is!” James shouted and Lily sent him a glare. “Sorry, it’s just so stupid this is happening. It should have ended back in seventh year at least, fucking hell.” James muttered.

Sirius now furrowed his brow as Lily moved away a little. “Why say that?”

“Because you love each other.”

“How do you know he loves me?” Sirius questioned, his palms sweating.

“I — I just know that he does,” James said, nervously looking at Lily. Clearly, he knew something that he wasn’t sharing with Sirius.

“Fuck, okay, so, I never wanted to break anyone’s trust here but I can’t bare to listen to either of you anymore. Neither can James, it seems.” Lily set the makeup brush and fishnet down.

Sirius was sure he was going to have an aneurysm or something because he felt and heard a strange pounding in his ears. “What?”

“Remus loves you,” Lily said. “I’m not just saying that in cheeky speculation as you’ve taken it since you’ve started this fresh Gay Panic. I’m saying, Remus is having his own Bi Panic about this whole. I don’t know why you two can’t get it together.” She shook her head.

“He— he does?” Sirius stood up then went to walk but fell right over, forgetting that his tail was tighter than he was used to. “Ow, fuck, he loves me?”

James looked at Lily nervously. “Yes, but he’s being Moony and saying that he doesn’t deserve you.”

“But he does! I don’t — I’m the one that could fuck it all up. That’s what I do. I’m a fuck up. He’s — shite. Oh god, I’m the one that he thinks he fucked up his chances with?” Sirius remembered the conversation he had with Remus the other week as he struggled to get to his feet in his stupid fin.

“Yes, he’s been — I don’t want to tell you because it’s all on him to tell you but you need to get him to see that you love him and that you really want him. Maybe he’ll come to his senses. I don’t know. I don’t think it will take too much of a push to get him there.” Lily said, sitting on the edge of her bed as James finally got Sirius to stand up.

Sirius felt like he had just stepped into some strange new reality. Remus was talking about him? He was the one who he truly loved? Shite. He could have what he wanted if he just went after it. How could that possibly be? “You promise that you’re not just saying this to get me to say something to Remus?”

“No, I promise.” Lily held a hand over her heart.

“Yeah, mate, we’re not just telling you this. We wouldn’t want you heartbroken. You won’t be if you just tell Moony how you feel. Er, please don’t blow up at me about this like you did the other day when I suggested that.”

Sirius wanted to but he would have just been being dramatic. He didn’t have the energy or brain power for that at the very moment. All he could think about was how on earth Remus Lupin could love him. Not in just the best friend way they have loved one another for most of their lives but something far more. It was something Sirius had wanted forever but not even admitted to himself until the other week. He needed to figure out what he was going to do.

Sadly, didn’t have much time to dwell because people started to arrive at the Potter’s place in Kensington. He tried his very best not to drink too much too fast because of his newfound anxiety. Fab didn’t offer much of a distraction, even if he did make a good sailor with his Irish fisherman’s sweater, ginger beard, dark jeans, boots, and a net that he carried around all night. Fabian was fine but chatting up some bloke from Lily’s salon. He was no help to Sirius.

Remus seemed to look happy with Benjy. Moony was dressed like a magician in a nice looking suit. He had a top hat but it went missing after a few drinks. Benjy was dressed as a bunny, which is cute and all but Sirius decided that it was dumb and childlike (as if he wasn’t dressed as a mermaid). Remus also kept his distance from Sirius most of the night. Sirius couldn’t help but wonder if it was because Remus was fighting with his feelings for Sirius.

The party, even though it was loud and everyone around him was having a good time, was boring to him. Sirius couldn’t bring himself to care what was going on or if he had a chance to win the contest. He did have a few too many jello shots so, near the time of the costume winners announcement, Sirius found himself going upstairs to get away from everyone. He tended to do that after drinking too much.

After feeling like he got himself together, he opened the bathroom door to find Remus on the other side looking nervous. “Hey.”

“Hi.” Sirius shuffled to lean against the sink. He was feeling a little dizzy. He couldn’t be sure it had to do with all the jello shots.

“Drunk?”

“Only a little.” Sirius tried to smile as if he didn’t have a care in the world. When, in reality, he had too many fucking cares. Remus Lupin being far too many of them. “You look like you’re having fun down there.”

“I hate this bloody costume. Magicians are weird.” Remus glowered, stepping into the bathroom.

“I’m taking that it’s Benjy’s idea?” Sirius asked then realized that Remus was looking at his bare chest, his eyes trailing down to his abdomen. He felt like his whole body was on fire. But he tried to stay casual. He was too drunk to declare his love like Lily and James were insisting. He needed a few days before that happened to either talk himself out of it or into it. He hadn’t landed on what one yet.

“Yes. I prefer this merman one.” Remus hesitated then reached out and touched Sirius’ stomach delicately. Every hair on Sirius’ body stood on end. “I would have had a better beard than Fabian.”

“I like a ginger beard.” Sirius attempted to stay completely casual as Remus moved closer to him, his hand still on his abdomen. Sirius could smell Remus’ sweat, his cologne, and the liquor on his breath. “Not that I’m interested in Fabian at all. He’s nice but an idiot. Never seen you with a beard outside of a bit of five-clock shadow. It’d cover your dimples — a full beard. That’d be weird. Disappointing.” He rambled.

Remus smiled in that devious way that Sirius always loved because it meant that his mild-mannered exterior was melting away and people were about to see the real devious Remus. Sirius wished he loved it at this very moment but he felt like he was going to pass out. “You always liked my dimples.”

“Still do,” Sirius said. “Jealous.”

Without another word or smile, Remus leaned in and kissed him. Sirius reached behind him and gripped the edge of the sink. Between being a little drunk, having a tight fishtail on, and being kissed in a way that made his knees go weak he was terribly afraid of falling over again as he did in Lily and James’ room before the party. Sirius really didn’t want that to happen as Remus managed to kick the door closed with his long leg.

This all was obviously wrong. It was never good to cheat, no matter what was happening and how done a relationship was. Sirius tried very very hard to remember that as Remus’ hands slid down his back and over his arse. Remus nipped at his bottom lip then kissed up Sirius’ jaw to his earlobe. Sirius wished very much that his fin wasn’t so bloody tight because he needed some more movement. But his hands were free.

Sirius reached for Remus’ button and zip. All he could think about at the moment was touching Remus. Not much else mattered (EVEN THOUGH IT SHOULD HAVE MATTERED THAT BENJY WAS DOWNSTAIRS). Remus groaned, sucking at Sirius’ neck as Sirius’ hand slipped into Remus’ boxers to wrap a hand around Remus’ hardening cock. Sirius slowly and carefully stroked his hand up the other man’s long, thick cock.

Just as Remus was attempting to get his hands down Sirius’ fin, the door to the bathroom flung open and Marlene’s distinctive raspy voice yelled, “OH MY GOD!”.

Sirius would have jumped out of his skin if it were possible. Instead, he jolted as far back from Remus as he could get as the door closed again. “Shite, shite. I’m — fuck. I have to go. I need to —”

“Yes. I’m sorry.” Sirius said because he didn’t know what the hell else to say to him. “Sorry.”

Remus kept his head down as he did his trousers back up. “I’ll — we should talk when… when we can.”

Sirius nodded before Remus left the bathroom. Once he did, he heard Marlene out there asking him questions. It didn’t sound like he said anything and a moment later she was in the bathroom. She shut the door and went over to the toilet. “Look, I have to pee so fucking bad and I’m sorry to interrupt your fucking — I don’t know hand job — but you can either sit here and let me pee or you can leave and let me pee. Up to you.”

Sirius stayed against the sink as Marlene did as she said she was going to. Soon enough she pushed him out of the way to wash her hands then she sat on the edge of the bathtub and looked up at him with a sad face. “He’s in a relationship.”

“Yeah, I know. I wasn’t exactly having smart thoughts at that moment. Thank you for having to go to the bathroom. I do mean that.” Sirius’ eyes stayed on the floor, where they had been since the woman came into the bathroom.

“Is Remus leaving Ben? Are you two finally getting together? God, I’ve been rooting for this relationship since sixth year.”

Sirius looked up at her with wide eyes. “Since sixth year? What the fuck, Marls?”

She grinned, her blue eyes shining. “You’d be completely daft not to see it. Well, like you and Moony.” She scoffed.

Sirius put his hands over his face. “Yeah, like Moony and me. God, why can’t I just do something in an easy way? Now things just got more complicated.”

“Or, they just got easier.” Marlene offered. “Don’t make things out to be this mess when it’s straight fucking forward. You two would have had sex if I didn’t barge in. I know you’re both a bit drunk but I know that you’re both infatuated with each other. Have been longer than you think, I’d say.”

He stayed silent.

“Now, you both did something very stupid but I think it just put it all out there. Moony’s going to break up with Benjy. You two are going to be together — finally. By Christmas, you’ll practically be living together. We might have one sad bunny in a few minutes downstairs.”

Sirius laughed. He doubted that.


	5. Oh God, Again?

The week between the Halloween party and his birthday was quiet when not filled with anxiety. He tried to stay away from his mates because Marlene had told Lily what happened. Lily then told James. James then told Peter. He was sure that the rest of their mates and significant others knew about the near affair in the Potter’s upstairs bathroom. It was a mistake and timed terribly but something in him had a tiny sliver of hope that Marlene was right.

For his part, Sirius did think about contacting Remus multiple time. It was Remus that had to break up with Benjy, though. Sirius wasn’t sure if that happened or not yet. It was bad enough that they had nearly shagged the other time they saw one another. Sirius needed to give him space. When he did see James at work and in texts that were unanswered from Lily, no one had heard from Remus either. That wasn’t surprising. The man was better at cutting off communication than Sirius was. A true talent the man had.

Of course, it was his birthday so, after work on Friday, James took him out to a nice restaurant. Everyone was there to surprise him. Sirius knew it was coming because they always did it. But it was nice. He didn’t complain because he loved being around his mates.

Remus was there too — without Benjy but that could have been due to the fact the man was a doctor and worked odd hours. Remus didn’t seem upset but would he be upset if they broke up? Sirius couldn’t be sure yet.

That was until he sat down next to Lily and she leaned over and whispered, “He broke up with Ben.”

Sirius tried not to do anything drastic like stand up and finally declare his love for Remus because after all this time of suppressing the thought. It was about to break out of him at any moment. He was still scared but he couldn’t stand it any longer, especially knowing that Remus felt the same way.

“He did?” He said calmly, looking over to Remus at the other end of the table. The man was chatting with Dorcas and Mary about something exciting because he was getting very animated with his hand gestures.

“Yes, give yourself a nice birthday gift tonight, will you?” Lily encouraged.

The dinner was nice but he couldn’t wait til it wound down and he could have a moment with Remus. Thankfully he got it when James suggested they move the party to the pub across the way. He lingered behind enough to walk with Remus. Dorcas, Marlene, Mary, and Peter all gave him a knowing look and walked quicker.

“So,” Sirius looked over at Remus as they left the restaurant.

“So,” Remus sighed, putting his hands in his pockets. “I broke up with Benjy.”

“Good.” He bit his lip because that may not have been the best thing to say.

“You figured out that you’re the one I had worried about fucking up my future with huh?”

“Yeah, around the time you stuck your tongue down my throat. Okay, no, that’s a lie. It was Lily and James who basically told me earlier in the day.”

“Ah, I hate them. They sold you out too. That’s why I went over to your flat the other week with the pizza.”

“And you got all cryptic about things,” Sirius said as they stopped on the pavement as everyone crossed the street. He was sure they were all looking at them. “Very Remus move. Not a very Remus move to cheat on someone.”

“Yeah, I broke up with Benjy that night. We left the party right after and I told him the truth. I think it hurt him but, I mean, he’ll be happier now.”

Sirius nodded, “Yeah, I think so. I hated him.”

Remus rolled his eyes. “You hate all my boyfriends and girlfriends.”

“Strange, I wonder why that is.” Sirius laughed, feeling much more relaxed. He was about to get what he had wanted without knowing it for so long. “Moony, I can’t promise I won’t fuck this up at some point but I’d like to try.”

“Pads, we’ve been mates for so long, I can barely remember me before you — everyone else too. But you, you were always special even before I realized I fancied you. Then I did and every other person on earth was ruined for me.” Remus let out a huff of a breath that seemed to be a laugh. “You’re not going to fuck this up. I’ve seen you at your worst already, you’ve seen me at mine. We’ve been through enough to know we’d never leave each other’s side.”

Sirius sighed. Why was this so scary to him before? How did he not know that Remus would love him and want to do this? “I’m not going anywhere. I wish it didn’t take this long.”

“I know me too. Can you kiss me now?” Remus pulled Sirius close to him.

“I can do that.” Sirius pressed his lips to Remus’. This was exactly where he should be.

Across the street, their mates all cheered loudly. This could all work out.

***

_Halloween One Year Later…_

“Oh, fuck,” Sirius tried not to moan too loud. The party was in full swing downstairs but he didn’t fancy someone wandering up to the second floor to ruin the fantastic blowjob he was in the middle of receiving.

Remus’ tongue swirled around the head of Sirius’ cock then he closed his lips around it and swallowed him to the root. Sometimes Sirius kicked himself that he could have been with Remus for the last decade or so and most of the time it was over dumb domestic stuff but other times it was about how he could have been getting blowjobs like this.

Right when he was getting close, there was a knock on the door. “One — one minute,” Sirius said, trying to sound as normal as possible. Not that it mattered because whoever it was would obviously know what’s happening when Remus and Sirius left the room.

“Ugh, fuck, you two are shagging again? This happened last year. I’ll go downstairs.” Marlene said on the other said of the door.

Sirius laughed as Remus pulled back, “You’ve lovely timing.” The other man said before his lips were wrapping around Sirius’s cock again.

Thankfully, Marlene said nothing else and Sirius’ mind went back to the hot mouth that was on him. It didn’t take much longer for him to come, gripping the edge of the sink tightly. It took him a few moments to come back down to earth.

Remus was pressing a few sweet kisses to his mouth. “We should go back downstairs.”

“If you say so.” Sirius frowned. “I could repay you.”

“No, later, at home where no one will bang on the door.” Remus snickered, kissing Sirius on the cheek.

They were now officially living together. Sirius was thinking about asking Remus to marry him. He didn’t want to waste any time like he did in the whole time leading up to them finally getting together. He wanted to be happy and he knew now that there wasn’t much he could do that would mess this relationship up.


End file.
